What Ice Cream Flavors Say About Your Date
Afraid your date will lack chemistry? Fear not, the secret to success is our ice cream!
First dates can be nerve-wracking. At the same time, the one hundred and first date can be boring. Whether you’re just meeting or you’ve known each other for forever, Chill-N is the ultimate place for a date. In our ice cream laboratory, we have combined our love of science with our love of ice cream to make perfect-every-time, single-serving ice cream that freezes right before your eyes!
Inspired by the different flavor combinations and matching personalities we see each day, we decided to put on our safety goggles and start some social science experiments. We’ve perfected the science of nitrogen ice cream; our new hypothesis is: what does your ice cream flavor preference say about your personality?
So, we made a list of our most popular base ice cream flavors and our most popular ice cream toppings to give to our in house Anthropology department to determine what qualities you can expect to find in a person based solely on their ice cream flavor preferences.
The following data is practically perfect for determining whether you and your date are compatible people. We’re not saying character compatibility is an exact science, but we’re also not not saying that. It’s like when sci-fi characters get their partner’s DNA analyzed to find a suitable match — if you haven’t seen GATTACA, you are missing Ethan Hawke’s finest performance — except our analysis is much less creepy and probably more emotionally accurate, but don’t hold us to that.
How do you read our table?
Excellent question. Like all the great ice cream scientists, we’ve kept our table simple and foolproof. Simply look along the top for the base flavor and along the sides for the toppings. Whatever words are in the box where the row and column meet are the personality traits of your date. For example: if your date orders coffee & Nutella base flavors with caramel and pecan toppings, then they are mature, authentic, trustworthy, and wise. That’s science, baby!
Not convinced by our heavily researched, carefully thought out, and probably extremely accurate ice cream character table? Well, it’s not your fault, we know your favorite flavor is ______. Regardless, considering the fact that, as a human, you’re going to inhale 400,000 grams of nitrogen a day, some of those grams might as well be ice cream. Plus, if you get to eat with a cute person that makes you feel so warm inside you’re worried you melt your ice cream, then we suppose the flavor they choose isn’t all that important.
